Go and love yourself

May 25, 2016

*Not in the context of Justin Bieber's song, though. Last week I was whining to my roommate about my looks. We were talking abo...

*Not in the context of Justin Bieber's song, though.


Last week I was whining to my roommate about my looks. We were talking about someone and I jokingly said "What if they don't like me in real life?" This was about something very trivial, but what stuck to me was what my roommate said afterwards: "Don't say that! You're my role model for self-confidence!" I've had many people tell me how amazing my self-confidence is. and to be honest, that is what I love most about myself and that is the best compliment I've ever received. The fact that I REALLY don't care what people think about my life, my body, and my actions.

It wasn't always like that, though. I remember not being confident in myself.
The memory that stuck with me the most is around-10-year-old me, sitting in a bathtub, looking at my thighs. I was kind of kneeling, so my thigh fat would scrunch up at the sides, and I remember drawing lines on my legs with my finger, exactly where a plastic surgeon would have to cut them to make them look "normal". And the worst part is, I wasn't overweight. I wasn't chubby. That is just the way thighs look when you bend your legs, but the media didn't tell me that.

It took me a while to love my body. My mom always made sure I knew just how amazing and beautiful I was and somewhere along the way, I started believing her. I still have insecurities, but those will come and go what matters is that I don't give in to what other people think of me.

Because, honestly, fuck what other people think of me and my body. It's not their body and it's not their choice. Because it's also not up to me what other people do with their bodies. I am amazing and no one can tell me otherwise. Because when I look in the mirror, I pose and say Damn, I look good!

But I feel terrible for people that aren't satisfied with what they see in the mirror and I would love to just grab those people by the shoulders and say: "What are you doing? You are amazing and beautiful and you should see yourself the way I see you!" In fact, I dare you all to go look at the mirror and find 5 things that you absolutely ADORE about yourself.

For me, those five things are:
- my unevenly curly hair that looks different every day,
- my eyebrows that have really great natural arches,
- my dimple on the right cheek (I lost the one on the left sometime along the way),
- the birthmark on my right arm that looks like a smudge I forgot to wash,
- the scar on my right knee (because it's a great story to tell everyone).

It used to bother me if people talked about my looks.
But now it doesn't anymore and I am proud of that.

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